Army of Club Penguin

Addressed to the Conspiracy Theorists of Club Penguin I mean ACP

Ho ho ho! It is me, Sanya Claus. That’s right! The one and only in the Army of Club Penguin here, addressing you with this post about what I secretly do in the month of December. This year, I’ve decided, after three years of retirement, and a stint in CPA Judging, CPA head moderating, and dealing with a certain individual in a podcast server who has very interesting opinions, to return to ACP! And I am here to explain to you my… secret identity.

Let me explain my… special methods of gift-giving. As you know, there is a ban hammer in one hand and a gift sack in the other, where I give all the gifts to everyone and cookies!! Nom nom. This year, I’ve decided, since I’m now a High Command with the rank of 2IC in a Club Penguin army, man, what am I doing with my life? You know there are perms we have in ACP, like Mute, Kick, and Ban! And of course, our favorite: jail

Do you know how I decide if you’re nice or naughty? The naughty ones may get a mute that lasts longer than it takes for ugly to respond to your DMs, a kick that reminds you that you’ve been really naughty, or a ban if I just don’t want you there permanently :> while you secure your spot in the naughty corner of ACP.

But moving on, let’s talk about the nice people, because the nice people get gifts! They get clovers, a chance to win Nitro, Robux, or they get to play Dress to Impress with Riri. And did you know I went to noas house, climbed the top and fell down her chimney to give her a gift! and I gifted our Field Marshal Noa a little bundle of joy—a kitty! Because, let’s face it, she loves cats, spreads kindness, and is a fun person to be around, as long as you don’t catch her on the days when she’s jailing you.

So remember, my friends, in my free time, when I’m not babysitting moderating the server, every Christmas Eve I fall down the chimney and I’m usually ON FIRE because they leave it on—except Noa, because she doesn’t want to see me on fire!. That in the Army of Club Penguin, if you’re nice, you’ll get your presents! Naughty? I’ll see you in jail with Noa tormenting you :> and Riri probably asking you to play her infamous… “Dress to Impress.” so to end this post I’d like to say

Merry Christmas, ACP

Stay merry, stay rule abiding, and don’t mess with Sanya Claus :>

Yours truly

ACP Field Marshal who’s currently lost in the field/ someone who climbs into chimneys, gets his butt burnt just to give gifts to nice people

Filed under: ACP, Army of CP, Satire | Tagged: ACP, Army of Club Penguin, Army of CP, christmas, clover defenders, clover penguins, clover trooper, Club Penguin, Club Penguin Army, cpa, nice, Sanya Claus, Satire, SB, Shamrock Bulletin |