Opinion: Ranking ACP HCOM’s Music Taste

Addressed to the Army of Club Penguin

BLIZZARD, Shamrock Bulletin Headquarters – Music reflects our behavior, our lives, and even how people view us. Therefore, we (Scars, Doopus, and T_T) have chosen to rank the top three artists of the oldest army’s high command, creating the most OBJECTIVE and UNDENIABLE ranking of music tastes ever made.

Disclaimer: This is a completely subjective take on ACP’s music tastes. Furthermore, this does not reflect the entirety of ACP.

Preface to the Rankings

Through lots of hard calculations, sheer dedication, and hard work toward crafting an unbiased system, we have come up with the official music ranking system, which couldn’t have been possible without our sponsor, Penguin Ponderers.

Our system is as follows:
A) Listing each HCOM individually from 1-8 based on our personal preferences.
B) Each HCOM is given a point depending on their rank [i.e., 8 points being the highest (#1 in rankings) and 1 point being the lowest (#8 in rankings)].
C) Using the points, we put them in order from highest to lowest. 
D) If a tie occurs, we’d bring in a third-party member to break it.

Whilst ranking the HCOMs, we ended up with two ties that anniE chose between by determining whose music tastes she liked better.

Due to technical difficulties, Chkn was replaced with Phoebe, Riri was interviewed before her leave, and Amelia is not present due to getting promoted only recently. With all that said, all individual rankings will be shown at the end and we hope you enjoy this special post!

8. Kailey

Starting the list strong, comes in Kailey133, in DEAD LAST! Our seasoned ears could not comprehend what we were listening to, thus Kailey ended up in last place. 

We were not really familiar with many of these artists except BTS, which Doopus and I only knew through their Fortnite emote. Ultimately, her placement came to this due to not following the format of THREE artists and not having a mix of variety in her top 4. Sorry Kailey :(.

Total Points: 5

7. Riri

Coming in at second to last is Riri. Doopus ranked Riri low for, and I quote,

“nessa barrett farted on a tiktok live in 2020.”

Other than that, we again, didn’t really know the artists aside from Billie. Ultimately, us knowing one of the artists this time actually benefited her and helped her gain the placement above Kailey.

Total Points: 13

6. Tia

In 6th place comes in Gugspugs. Again, it came down to us knowing one artist: Sabrina. 

After giving it some thought, the group ultimately agreed with Tia’s top 3 in 6th place, showing a preference for Sabrina over Billie. This allowed Tia to make her way above Riri and secure a respectable placement. I hope this means we can still be friends gulp.

Total points: 13

5. Sanya

In 5th place is Sanya. Sanya was all around in the individual rankings, being in the upper and bottom halves of the ranks.

Nevertheless, Sanya had arguably the most recognizable list yet, allowing us to rank pretty easily. This doesn’t mean he’ll achieve a higher ranking— in fact, he lost points for including Taytay. In the end, Sanya had a good assortment of people that allowed him to make it into the middle area of the rankings.

Total Points = 14

4. Daniel

Imagine draggin’ your music taste to 4th place (amazing joke I know)! For Daniel, this dream (he wished for it 100% clearly shown by the completely untampered screenshot underneath) became true!

Even with very mainstream picks, Daniel was able to make it through to 4th place. This is due to Imagine Dragons evoking nostalgia and us (as in Doopus and T_T) being on-and-off listeners of Imagine Dragons. Yet, Daniel’s music taste felt way too mainstream and pop for our tastes, hence making him lose a few points. It was not a great placement, but it wasn’t a bad one either, nice!

Total Points = 17

3. Noa

No-a-way she got third place (i can’t keep doing this anymore)! But in all honesty, having these artists as her top three led her here, to quite a good position where she got 17 points and third place overall.

Noa’s versatile and unique picks allowed her to get a solid third place, with the three artists being big pioneers in their genres. However, they didn’t quite have the edge to push them higher in the ranking as the other two did, which we preferred more. Nevertheless, congrats on third place!

Total Points = 17

2. Roxy

Number 2, but that doesn’t make it bad whatsoever. The solo leader of the Army of Club Penguin. She may or may not have rigged herself to get a top spot, we’ll never know.

In all seriousness though, we believe that Roxy had a great top 3 picks and were all fairly recognizable to us. However, she ended up losing points just because there really wasn’t much variety. In the end, she got a good placement and surpassed 6 other people, WOOHOO!

Total Points = 21

1. Phoebe

Flawless victory! Congratulations on winning the first (and likely last) Music Tastes competition! 

MY GLORIOUS, PEURTO RICAN, PIC LEGEND, ALMOST S/M LEGEND QUEEN. There was not a single bad pic(k) (get it lol haha) in Phoebe’s music taste, and we thoroughly enjoyed the artists she listed, meaning that we were able to freely give her full points. Phoebe had a good mix of artists with a good variety of genres to pair with it. Furthermore, she had artists all 3 of us enjoyed and are easily recognizable. Doopus would also like to say she secured this “due to Peak-ZA ️‍🔥”.

Total Points = 24


Thanks for reading! We hope you understand and follow our completely serious and unbiased ranking of the ACP HCOM’s music tastes. From now on, the music tastes are decided by us three and us three only. If they are not verified, then they should not be acknowledged.

All jokes aside, from the bottom of our hearts, we hope you enjoyed reading this post and our justifications as much as we did writing it. This was all subjective and for fun, so there really was no winning or losing since there wasn’t a strict system being applied to this. With all that said, here are the individual rankings.

Scars: 1. Phoebe, 2. Roxy, 3. Noa, 4. Tia, 5. Sanya, 6. Daniel, 7. Kailey, 8. Riri
Doopus: 1. Phoebe, 2. Roxy, 3. Daniel, 4. Sanya, 5. Noa, 6. Riri, 7. Tia, 9. Kailey
T_T: 1. Phoebe, 2. Roxy, 3. Riri, 4. Daniel, 5. Noa, 6. Tia, 7. Sanya, 8. Kailey


Take care and have a great rest of your week!

Scars, Doopus, T_T
Music Rankers

2 Responses

  1. Lol

  2. I SHOULD’VE CAME IN FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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