Army of Club Penguin

Filed under: Army of CP | Tagged: Shamrock Bulletin | 2 Comments »

I wiped a single bead of sweat from my face as I surveyed the scene in front of me. Fifty green soldiers were scattered across the Cove, fists clenched, eyes focused, and battle-ready. As a Field General of the Army of Club Penguin, this was not my first battle. But it was a battle unlike any I had ever been involved in, and one I would never forget.

The Rebel Penguin Federation had declared war just days before, sending the community into chaos as two powerful alliances were formed and pitted against each other. The Rebels first attack was to be against our beloved capital server, Mammoth, and our Commander-in-Chief CSY was not present. It was down to me, Field General Max, to lead our forces against the enemy and secure a victory for our side. All of our training came down to the next thirty minutes.

I carefully pulled back the sleeve of my letterman jacket to glance at my watch. 5:59am PST. One minute to go. Just 60 seconds until the battle would begin. 59. 58…

“GET READY, SOLDIERS” I called out, and saw fifty sets of eyes looking back at me.

“Salute!” they chanted back.

This was a huge deal, and to be quite blunt, I was bricking it. But I couldn’t let on, my soldiers were looking to me to lead them into battle, and they would never follow me if they could sense my nerves. I took a deep breath, gathered all my courage, before standing up and calling the order.

“TO THE DOCKS!” I commanded, and a huge uproar filled my ears as a mass of green penguins pressed down on their EPF spy phones and teleported to the room.

We had entered the room first, immediately splitting into three groups as planned. I headed the first group as we charged to the front line and covered ourselves behind a desolate mound of snow. My generals Zelly and Koloway directed the left and right flanks, taking shelter where they could. The first sign of a penguin dressed in all-black was noticed by Corporal Yeti, who signalled to me the opposition had also covered themselves on the other side of the room.

“OPEN FIRE” I called, and our forces launched the first round of snowballs, taking out several of the Rebels soldiers and senior officers. Major Sanya scored a particularly good hit, knocking the spy goggles off a Rebel soldier, before shouting “HA, take that!”.

As the battle pressed on, it was clear the ACP’s advances were working. We had taken out many of the Rebel troops, others had retreated to the Town and Snow Forts, while the rest were a disorganised and tired mess.

“ONE MINUTE, MAX!”, I heard Zelly call from behind me. She had just finished engaging in a 1v1 combat with a Rebel second-in-command, and left him sprawled helpless on the floor behind her. I allowed myself to smile, before taking a quick glance at my watch: 6:09am PST. The room change was coming up, and so I gave the order. The green force loaded up their EPF phones, ready for teleportation.

We entered the Ice Rink at the same time. Clearly many of the Rebels that had previously retreated to the Snow Forts were preparing for an early entry, recovered and ready to re-engage in the battle. With nowhere to hide, the conflict in the second room would be on open-plain. As the RPF loaded their weapons, General Kailey was first to react, moving quickly across the rink to disarm the closest two opponents. The rest of the army followed, picking off one Rebel soldier at a time.

Rebel Advisor Pookie called out my name and came storming towards me, weapon in hand, jaw clenched and a look of menace in his eyes. He crazily chanted “PLAN MAN PLAN MAN PLAN MAN…” as he loaded his weapon. I expertly dodged his attack, sticking my leg out to trip him up before delivering a blow to his head, knocking him unconscious. But before I could celebrate my small victory, I was thrown off my feet several metres by two Rebel soldiers. Stunned and disorientated, I attempted to regain my bearings. But the Rebel soldiers were quick, pinning me down from behind.

“Get off my boyfriend!”, Koloway screamed, raising his black guitar, swinging it sharply and knocking out one of the Rebels with a single clean blow. The other turned to Koloway, but was dragged back and thrown to the side by Brigadier General ZoomXT.

“Thanks guys, they nearly had me there…” I said, as they helped me back to my feet. But before they could respond, I realised it was time for the final room, and a quick click on my EPF spy phone sent me teleporting to the Iceberg.

Arriving late, I immediately gasped at the battle scene in front of me. Both sides were in deep conflict, and while the sizes looked even, the Rebels appeared to have a slight advantage. As I headed towards the fighting, I passed some of our key soldiers lying unresponsive on the ground around me. Chekdar, Zoomey, Sanya. Had I led the soldiers to their deaths?

But before I could dwell any longer, I had reached the front line. King Mondo was fighting 4 RPF soldiers at once, easily disarming and defeating them while screaming “ACP BUNNY DUCK!!”. Kailey and Zelly were both taking on leader Ultipenguinj, who had launched savage attacks on them both. A powerful punch had knocked Kailey back unconscious, and a sharp kick to Zelly knocked her onto the floor, as her backpack and weapons were thrown into the snow. As he approached to finish her off, I moved quickly to pick up the closest item, before calling “ZELLY” and throwing it to her. Ultipenguinj turned in surprise, and Zelly caught her Karaoke microphone, before quickly knocking Ultipenguinj out cold with it.

It was then approximately 20 more Rebel penguins teleported into the room. Someone must have called for backup. Just as the battle looked like it could swing into a Rebel victory, I turned to the remaining ACP soldiers and gave one, final order. At once, the soldiers stood to attention, before echoing at the top of their lungs:

The Iceberg went silent. Every Rebel Penguin Federation soldier dropped their weapons and erupted into chaos. Some used their spyphones to teleport away, while others waddled desperately into the water to swim to safety.

“GREEN VICTORY!” screamed Zelly, and a chant filled the four corners of the room.

We had done it. We had won the battle for Mammoth. We had protected our home. 

Filed under: Army of CP | Tagged: Shamrock Bulletin | 4 Comments »