Army of Club Penguin

‘Today is Div’s birthday.’ Said Speeder, waking up one morning, stuck to the ceiling in grease.

Gosh He thought. That was some party. Heh.. Heh..

He brushed his teeth messily, threw on a shirt, slipped on some pants, flipped on the television, and pulled out his cell-phone. He called Cat with a start.

‘Tord Rocks, Tom Socks, Tord Rocks, Tom Socks,‘ Repeated Cat’s ring tone. She was in the middle of cursing at a picture of Tom.

‘Oh, hey Speeder.’ She said calmly, answering the phone.

‘Yeah. Any good ideas for a birthday present for Div?’ Speeder said.

‘What about Tord? And a Tom dart-board?’ She said, smashing her Tom poster.

‘Yeah.. I’ll get back to you on that.’ He said, hanging up.

Next, he called Enn.

‘CATZ R TEH ENEMIE, CATZ R TEH ENEMIE, CATZ R TEH ENEMIE,’ Repeated his ring tone. He was in the middle of chomping down a jar of cookies.

‘Hey Speeder.’ He said, stuffing the jar in a storage room under his couch.

‘Hey Enn. Know any good ideas for a birthday present for Div?’ He said, getting out a notepad and pen.

‘What about a talking dog? That hates cookies? And did I say cookies already?’ He said, sounding rabid.

‘Er.. Nice.’ Speeder said, hanging up.

Next, he called Capn.

‘Zelda! Get The Phone! Gaah! Zelda! Get The Phone! Gaah! Zelda! Get The Phone! Gaah!’ Repeated his ring tone. He was in the middle of dancing to ‘I’m A Murloc’

‘Oh Gosh!’ He said, slamming the DVR off.

‘Uhm, Capn?’ Said Speeder, who was worrying Capn was not sane.

‘Yeah?’ He said, panting.

‘What’s a good birthday present for Div?’ Speeder replied.

‘Zelda’s shoe full of milk?’ Capn suggested.

‘Uh.. No.’ Speeder said, hanging up.

Next, he called Fox. She was still asleep. She lazily grabbed the phone.

‘Hey, Speeder. What’s the news?’ Said Fox, rubbing her eyes.

‘I need a birthday present for Div.’ Speeder replied.

‘What about milk in Zelda’s shoe? Capn already suggest it?’ Fox suggested.

‘Yeah.’ Speeder replied.

‘Dangit. You’re outta luck. Unless you wanna buy him a pack of army men and a magnifying glass.’ She said, hanging up.

Finally, he called Dry. Dry was in the middle of tacking meetings to his 8ft. wide calendar.

‘Ello, Speeder.’ He said, shaking the hand he accidentally stabbed.

‘Yeah, Dry. You’re Div’s brother. I need to get him a birthday present. Fast.’ Speeder replied.

‘What about a cactus?’ Dry said, putting a cactus sticker around the day for the war with the Nachos.

‘I just got an idea!’ Speeder yelled, hanging up.

He grabbed a pack of books near his desk, and burst out running. He scribbled a tag on it, put a dollar in it, and threw open the door of Div’s house.

‘Here’s your gift!’ He screamed, throwing it at Div.

‘Uh.. First, it’s not my birthday. It was last week. Second, um.. Thanks for the present.’ He said, sticking the box of ACP Becomes Plants series in a closet, filled with identical boxes.

‘Well, at least I got you something.’ Speeder replied.

‘Yeah.. I’m sure I’ll read it. ..For the fortieth time..’ He muttered.

THEEND