[Satire] Tina’s Post Mortem

Amidst our valiant efforts to save King McHappy in the final event of Royal Week, a beloved soldier unfortunately sacrificed his life in the battle. Due to this unfortunate event, I, Sir Pungu Pungenguin, knew it was my duty to interview the fallen, to write a final memoir for the matyr.

PART 1: THE INTERVIEW

Obviously, interviewing a Fallen Soldier is a difficult feat, and so the interview began slowly.

x_x

With tina very much dead, I knew that getting this interview would be no simple feat. By the power of * Roleplay Actions *, I brought Tina back to life.

*nae naes on your mom*

After this, the interview began to gain traction, and we learnt some new and exclusive details about our esteemed troop.

His son reminds me of myself!

Finally, I asked a rather tough question.

mate

PART 2: THE THEORY

As a 9-hour ACP veteran, I’ve battled through numerous wars, fighting battle after battle. I’ve come back scarred, beaten, bruised – but never have I witnessed the death of another comrade. We take the absolute PRECAUTIONS to ensure no soldiers die on the battlefield. I saw it happen though – but HOW?

I, Pungu Pungenguin, believe this was an INSIDE JOB BY OUR VERY OWN CPRCHEATS MR MAX.

But how? I hear you ask. Well, here’s a diagram I created EXPLAINING IT ALL

As you can see, Max threw a cleverly disguised BOMB at Tina while we were fighting the Doritos!!

PART 3: PUNGU’S VERDICT

As Jugungu Pungu, I have come to the conclusion that Max was not involved. I have good evidence that it was instead TIA DRESSED AS MAX.

I won’t show you the evidence, just have faith in me.

Tia’s punishment will be having to say “Toot” on command and also 69 hours of WordPress Post Writing. This time, even her Boyfriend, Fatchicken, cannot help.

Judge Wig | Buy historical wigs | horror-shop.com
Smh Tia

Remember to react in #events!!! See you guys later, until next time, stay fresh party penguins!

Pungu: ACP 69ic and resident Funnyman

8 Responses

  1. THIS IS AMAZING HAHAHAHAHA

  2. I herby declare I was falsely accused 😀

  3. Perfect post 👏

  4. HAHA I love this! Brilliant Pungu!!

  5. I have to say Nice Theory 🙂

  6. I HAVENT LAUGHED THIS HARD IN SO LONG LMFAOOOOOOO AWESOME POST (IT MAY OR MAY NOT RIVAL THE SATIRE WRIITNG OF SANYA :eyes:)

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